How to make your relationship thrive and last, after your matchmaker has found you your partner.
So we introduced you to your partner and you are in a relationship and happy!
This is wonderful! Now, how can you ensure your relationship thrives and lasts?
As a top international professional matchmaker it is my job and my passion to find partners for my clients. However, introducing my single gentlemen clients to wonderful lady matches is no guarantee a relationship will develop into a happy, mutually fulfilling, lasting relationship.
For this to happen, we need to invest time and effort in each other and the relationship and the following tips will definitely help!
I am passionate about my work as a matchmaker and helping my clients find love! Whilst international matchmaking may seem to some like an easy, glamourous job, there is a lot of work involved in finding my selective gentlemen clientele their match.
It all starts with getting to know my HIM-matchmaking gentleman client really well! Understanding who he is (his background, values, passions, challenges, past relationships, lifestyle, etc.) and of course the type of lady he wishes to meet and the type of lady who could be right for him.
Understanding what is important when it comes to geography (most of my HIM-Gentlemen clients are open to meeting a partner anywhere in Europe), age bracket, values, religion, lifestyle, language skills, interests, etc. etc.
Some of the most important things to understand are the key criteria /qualities a lady needs to have in order for my single gentleman client to be happy and fulfilled in a long-term, committed relationship.
Once all of this is established and the intake is completed, I will start the search for HER.
Throughout the 12 years of being a top International matchmaker, I have been able to build up a large international network of single Lady Match Candidates that I can tap into. These are ladies that I have already profiled and vetted.
In 2012, I became involved with the Matchmaking Institute in New York, the only accredited matchmaking school in the world. Through attending matchmaking and dating conferences I have been able to create and nurture meaningful connections with matchmakers all over the globe so we can, among other things, create synergies. I am able to tap in to this network if needed as well.
We scout for suitable matches as well. This is a lot of work as I need to interview on average 18 single ladies to be able to make one quality introduction!
After identifying a compatible lady, I discuss her profile with my gentleman client and then discuss his profile without revealing any confidential information with the lady in question.
Then I organize the entire first date for my HIM-matchmaking gentleman client and the lady I would like for him to meet.
Before the date takes place, I call the client as well as the lady with some last pointers about the date.
After the date, I call both parties for their feedback.
I take pride in the fact that my clients trust my professional expertise and advice as their matchmaker.
Over 95% of my gentlemen clients are very satisfied with the lady I introduced him to and over 75% will continue to see each other.
I continue the search and introductions within the contract time until my client is in a relationship.
Theoretically, as a matchmaker, it is my role to introduce my HIM-Matchmaking gentleman client to a compatible single lady and after that introduction it is up to the two of them whether and how they develop a relationship.
In practice, I know that everyone benefits from some support in this area and I check in with my clients regularly.
5 Tips to a happy relationship
As a top modern matchmaker, it is important to keep up with everything in the dating industry and continuously learn about dating and relationships.
At the latest annual Matchmaker and Date Coaches Conference organized by the Matchmaking Institute in New York, Dr. Terri Orbuch was one of the amazing speakers and she shared some of her research and tips with us.
Dr. Orbuch, aka "The Love Doctor" is a reputed relationship expert, author, speaker and professor, and she is the project director for a long term study on marriage and divorce for which she followed 373 Couples for nearly 30 years and counting.
Based on the scientific findings, she has published a book "5 Steps to take your marriage from good to great".
At the conference, she shared with us the 5 important factors that make a relationship great, and I will share them with you so that you can make your relationship thrive and last.
1 Give Regular Affirmation
Show and express that your partner is special to you. We have a biological need to be needed and not taken for granted, and Dr. Orbuch said her studies showed that men need affirmation even more than women do.
2 Set Realistic Expectations
When real life experiences do not match our expectations, we get frustrated and this eats away at our happiness. It is important to set realistic expectations early on in the relationship.
3 Resolve Disagreements Constructively
All relationships have disagreements. Couples who fight fair are happier and more likely to stay together. Dr. Terri Orbuch’s 8 tips to fighting fair:
1 timing is everything
2 calm yourself
3 don’t involve multiple issues in the conflict
4 be prepared to compromise
5 learn to apologize
6 validate – do not dismiss
7 don’t mind-read
8 sweat the small stuff (do not let stuff build up)
4 Implement Change
Boredom eats away at happiness. So do not fall into a relationship rut but keep things fresh, for example by; doing new activities together, using elements of surprise or mystery, sharing laughter.
5 Communicate Personal Information
Over time couples often mistake communication for “maintenance” communication where we talk about practical things, Dr. Terri Orbuch found. Instead we should be communicating more about our personal thoughts, feelings and goals. We should ask questions, learn to actively listen and, Dr. Orbuch advocates the “10-minute rule”. The 10-minute rule means that each day, each person talks for 10 minutes about something other than work, family or things that need to be done / practical stuff.
Your matchmaker may introduce you to a compatible, wonderful lady with whom you may want to start a relationship, however just being in a relationship is not enough!
In order for love to thrive and last in the relationship, practicing the above mentioned 5 steps early on and throughout the relationship gives us the ability to create happy, mutually fulfilling relationships.
If you wish to find happy, fulfilling, long-term, thriving and lasting love, get in touch to see whether our HIM-Matchmaking program is right for you. Click here to contact us.